Listening

(written by Heidi) This blog might be taking a new direction... but it is all still about the Nestor adventure, in a way. I just can't get the boys interested in writing for it... yet! ;-) So, you just get me for now. I intend to continue to rattle on about stuff here now and then. Okay?

So... I am an impatient golfer. I like to golf and the being-outside-in-nature aspect of it, but hate the time between shots. That is just too much time to think and overthink. I am a tennis player by nature (I used to play NON-STOP until I hit college and just ran out of time and people to play... well, then my knees started to complain when I would play... I'm not getting any younger, people!) and I love that you are required to almost instantly react as soon as you hit one shot to the next shot coming at you. Bam, bam, boom!

I often times treat life like a tennis match. Give me what you got and I will flip it right back atcha! I will control all that heads my way and do the best that I can with it. If I hit a bad one or a winner gets by me, well, then... I am just even more ready for the next point. Don't get me wrong, I am not a busy body or a super-woman who juggles activity after activity and still has a clean house and dinner on the table right at 6pm (just ask my husband!). No, I am someone who goes with the flow and is in no hurry to be too busy. What I am saying is, that I tend to react (and often react quickly) to situations, good or bad, in my life when they present themselves. I see how they are going to work or not work in my life, make a decision, and go with it. I go with my gut.

This does not make for a good listener. This does not make for a good discussion over options and choices. This does not make for a patient person (me). This does not help in my quest to really listen for God in my life. Quiet time, even though I take FULL advantage of "downtime" and relaxing, does not exist for me. It was even brought to my attention through a book by Priscilla Shirer, Discerning the Voice of God, that I could be even too busy while I had time with Him to listen to Him.

I also wondered how people survive being as busy as they are. Where do they get the energy to work, take care of kids, be on a team of some sort, take their kids to their activities and then add all sorts of other extra stuff? When do they sleep? (I think they often don't sleep!) I feel like I am becoming a hippie or something as I age because I feel like I am constantly wanting to and striving to slow down and just be. But I hadn't done that in my time with God. It seems I have no problem making the time to go to church, to be in a Bible study, to serve, to read my Bible at home... but I didn't carve out that time to be still, in His presence, and wait for Him to talk to me (however that might happen).

With my nature to "have things figured out", too, I realized that I did not enter into my time with God with an open mind. I loved this Bible passage to explain what I was NOT doing:

As you enter the house of God, keep your ears open and your mouth shut... After all, God is in heaven, and you are on earth. So let your words be few. Ecclesiates 5:1-2 NLT

So, open mind and still, quiet time is the goal. Listening to others better will be a goal, too. As a "fixer", I always want to interject my ideas as soon as I can. I get so excited when I feel I have the right words to add... but sometimes what people need is a hug instead.